Sin, indulgence, intimacy, love, need – the meaning of sex differs from one person to another. Sex is a natural need of the human body. Whether you do sex before marriage or not is your choice. Just the way your body feels hunger, but whether you eat or stay hungry depends on your control.
In our country, talking about sex openly is still a taboo subject. The guardians of the society look down on people who are candid about their sex diaries. What is funny that sex before marriage is even a bigger moral issue, unlike our western counterparts who start exploring their sexual needs as early from their teen years. Surprisingly, sex after marriage is perfectly fine. After all, marriage gives a legal license to give into your carnal desires.
But, the attitude towards sex before marriage is changing in India. The young generation is curious as well as open about their sexual desires. Whether they are in a temporary relationship, engaged or living in together, or rather just met at a party, they don’t mind indulging in sex with mutual consent.
Like every coin has two sides, sex before marriage has its own pros and cons.
Take One: It’s Absolutely Fine!
Here are some reasons why sex before marriage is not wrong and why you should not feel guilty about it.
Your body demands it
Sex is a natural bodily urge. You can satisfy it on your own or seek a partner. When you masturbate, nobody questions you because nobody knows when you are doing it. But everybody knows that everyone does it at some point of their life. So, if you are in a relationship and your partner agrees, what’s so wrong or sinful in hitting the bed for sexual pleasure?
Handle sexual issues up front
Imagine discovering your husband’s ‘teeny-weeny’ size which leaves you aghast on your first sexual encounter after marriage! You can better be off the couch before marriage after such unpleasant surprises. Of course, size is not the only factor, but it does matter a great deal, doesn’t it? If you are one who believe big is better, premarital sex can give you a peek into your man’s performance.
Size apart, if your man is suffering from any kind of sexual disorders like loss of libido, failure to hold erections and premature ejaculations (and he would never tell you that). At times, sexual disputes can mar the marriage. Sex before marriage can address such issues up front.
Take Intimacy to a higher level
Many couples prefer to consciously create sexual bonds in their relationship so that it can get stronger after their marriage. The reason behind this may be as simple as searching for that amazing sexual chemistry which is an absolute must for a successful marriage. You might be in an intimate relationship with your boyfriend or fiancée, but if you are yet to get into bed together, there is always a question mark over how satisfying it would be to have sex with him. Having long night chats, meeting for dates over coffee every day and even spending long hours together, but without getting physical is not the same as getting physical!
Sexual chemistry comes naturally. It may or may not happen and if it does not happen after marriage, it disrupts the lives of the married couple entirely and is one of the leading causes of divorce.
No need to rush into a marriage
Most Indian men and women who have never tried sex before marriage are too desperate for it immediately after they are legitimately allowed to do so with their spouses. So, ultimately they both have been suppressing their sexual desires and waiting for the marriage to happen. It results in them landing in a marriage earlier than planned. This is not at all healthy and may result in unwanted stress as husband and wife. If this is done before and they take wedding vows only when they are completely ready financially and emotionally, the marriage breathes a new fire into their sex lives. It also allows them to connect over other emotional and family issues like having children, sharing families and work responsibilities. Having sex before marriage can even help them measure their readiness for settlement as a couple.
Take 2: Stay Away!
The picture becomes completely different when you count the disadvantages of having sex before tying the knot with your partner. Here are reasons why you should not have sex before marriage.
Against most religions
Most holy books consider marital sex as morally right. If you are a firm believer in God and believed in chastity, sex before marriage can be devastating to your emotions. Marriage comes with a lot of discipline and sexual discipline is one of them. The act of unifying of two bodies through sex is of utmost importance and this can be achieved in the true sense only as husband and wife and not in ‘one night flings’ and even after engagements.
Unwanted complications may arise
If you are not a sexually educated person, you may forget to take necessary precautions before premarital sex. This fatal mistake could end up in pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases. Venereal diseases can end up in permanent infertility too. If your partner leaves you at the crossroads, you will get deeply hurt. Whereas, getting pregnant after marriage is of course a conscious decision and that responsibility will be borne by both of you as parents.
Forms a stronger base for marriage
Your fiancée and you will be better committed to each other if you mutually agree to wait for each other for the final climax event till marriage! It is about eagerly looking for the one you love and keeping the spark alive without being physical. Sexual abstinence before marriage tests your relationship and makes it even stronger for the future.
Saves your marriage
If one of the partners has indulged in a sexual relationship before getting married, sex does may hold the same importance, fun or interest in their mind later. Cheating becomes easier as multiple sexual experiences with different partners seem to be more enjoyable. In other words, if your partner has had a sexual fling before marriage with someone else, he might not be ready for shouldering the responsibility of a stable marriage with you in future.
Remember, sexual choices do not determine our personality
As a woman, it is completely insane to be judged as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ according to your sexual decisions and preferences. You might have heard people talking ill about girls who have broken their virginity before marriage. As a girl, daughters have always been taught the important lesson of abstinence from sex till they are married. But does the fairer sex really need to be categorized as pure only when they are untouched? Our personalities are made up of several other traits and the society has no right to decide about our character just according to our sexual choices. Safe sex is an equally important lesson to be taught to young girls. But if you decide to get sexually involved with your partner without getting married, it is you who has to be completely sure about your man’s devotion. It does not make you ‘bad’ in any way.
Want to know more about Sex? Read this book
So, now that you have all the positives and negatives before you, you can make an informed and wise decision about losing your virginity before marriage or waiting for the sacrosanct entity of marriage and giving it all to your husband once and for all.
There is nothing right or wrong about sex before marriage. It is entirely your personal choice.